Holly Jolly Christmas

December has been full of exciting events as we all geared up for Christmas.

We started things off by going to Hollywild Zoo to feed the animals and look at lights. Tucker especially loved the big cow that stuck his head in our car window and licked his arm (ewww!) and feeding the goats with a bottle. Santa was there, but Tucker preferred to look from afar.

One Saturday Tucker and I made a "gingerbread house" out of a small milk carton and graham crackers. He was so proud of his finished house. He really concentrated on every single piece of candy he placed.

Next, we had an opportunity to go to the Polar Express Train in North Carolina. When they boarded the train each child was handed their golden ticket which was later punched by the conductor. Tucker held on to that ticket literally until we got back home hours later. He really enjoyed himself and was super excited that Santa gave him a jingle bell. It was rainy that night but we all had a great time making memories with friends.

The Monday before Christmas Tucker and I had this conversation that melted my heart.
Tucker: Mommy you know what? Were going to have a Christmas party today!
Me: We are?
Tucker: Yea! For baby Jesus' birthday. We are going to make him a cake.
Me: Oh Tucker that is a wonderful idea!
Tucker: We are all going to share it and then when it is my birthday I will share my cake with baby Jesus too.

Tucker has such a sweet caring heart. It makes me so proud that he is already thinking of doing nice things for others. We shared the cake he made with our neighbors and friends.

This was the first year that Tucker has anticipated Santa's arrival so that was fun. He was begging us to go ahead and go to bed so Santa could come. :) Apparently Tucker thought that Santa was going to put presents in his bed. So when he woke up and didn't see any he called for us and said he was sad because he missed Santa!! All was ok when he walked into the living room. So cute how their little minds work. Maybe next year Santa will leave one present in his bed to excite him when he awakes. Pretty cute idea he had in mind.

As most of you know Tucker's first post radiation MRI shows that there is less blood supply to his tumor. Hopefully it will continue to be less and less and eventually just be scar tissue. This was exciting news. For now things are moving in the right direction. We know that is because we have so many faithful prayers going up for us everyday. Thank you for everyone that is still praying for us and our journey. Tucker is still handling chemo very well and has only been sick once (a nasty cold) which is such a blessing. His body fought off the cold very well without needing additional support which is another huge victory for a child on chemo. Tucker amazes me every single day. He is one very special little boy. I feel so honored that I was hand picked to be his mom.

December Festivities on PhotoPeach



christmas 2011 on PhotoPeach

And We Wait

“Never tell a young person that anything cannot be done. God may have been waiting centuries for someone ignorant enough of the impossible to do that very thing.”
G. M. Trevelyan

We are finally home and somewhat settled. Tyler and I have been back to work this week and Tucker is staying with Grammee. I will be taking chemo days off and other appointment days as needed. Tyler will be working 3rd shift soon so that he can be very involved with his appointments as well. We left Florida with Dr. Danny telling us to go home and try to make your lives as normal as possible. We are trying to keep Tucker's routine as it was before our trip and make each day as normal as we can because we now just wait. He will continue with chemo every other Friday till next September. They have really helped Tucker not get so sick from his treatments through a combination of medications. He is tired and puny after them but we will take that over non stop vomiting any day. We are thrilled they can make this as comfortable for him as possible.

The next steps: In 8 weeks they will do an MRI to get a baseline of what his spinal cord looks like. Dr. Danny (his radiologist) anticipates that because his spinal cord will still be very swollen from radiation we will not be able to tell much. They will do another MRI at 6 months 9 months and the year mark. By the 12 month MRI we should know the full results of Proton. We will have to go back to FL for his 6 month and 12 month check.

Side Effects from Radiation: These could take years to develop. Our prayer is that they never develop at all. However, if paralysis occurs we could possibly start to see that in 5 months to a year and a half from now if it were to occur. Other effects such as bladder and bowel issues could show up 5 years or more down the road. Nerve damage and pain could show up at any time. So unfortunately the Dr. said we will never be able to have a sigh of relief because side effects can continue to pop up for the rest of his life. However, the goal is for Tucker to be with us, enjoying life cancer free. We can handle whatever comes up down the road.

Things to pray about: That Tucker's MRIs show the tumor is gone. That the radiation and chemo will kill every single cancer cell so that he will remain cancer free and live a long happy life. We pray that his radiation treatments cause little to no side effects. Help us pray for patience as we await his scans and we ask for strength to continue to work and handle what life brings. Please continue to pray for Tucker's physical and emotional well being through his treatments. And as always continue to pray and have faith for a miracle of complete healing.

I am touched everyday by the kindness others are showing to our family. It has been truly amazing and I am so grateful. Not a day has gone by that someone has not tried to do something to help our family. Meals, donations, cards, calls, SMILES and hugs have filled our days. We are blessed beyond belief. Thank you God, for blessing our life with such amazing people. It helps us put one foot in front of the other everyday and that is such a gift.

And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.
2 Corinthians 6:4-5

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Psalm 27:14

God Bless. Much Love from the Reeves Family.

From Messy to Magical

“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.” ~ Groucho Marx

Tucker LOVED Disney. What kid doesn't? It was priceless to see his face when his jaw hit the floor as he realized POOH BEAR was standing 10 feet away from him. He was star struck!! :) The other highlights were meeting Tow Mater and Lightening McQueen and having BUZZ LIGHTYEAR...yes THE buzzlightyear ;) wave at him. He told every single one of the doctors and nurses at proton about that awesome moment. It was so precious. He loved the toy story ride and could have ridden it a million times which surprised us because he normally doesn't like rides but he really loves toy story in general so I guess that helped. We saw the Disney Jr. Show which is a puppet show of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Little Einsteins, Handy Manny, and other pirate characters from the disney channel that I don't remember the name of but were cute. Tucker clapped and danced to the music which was sooo good to see after he had been sick for so long. Tucker did not get sick the entire weekend and really enjoyed himself, so we in turn really enjoyed ourselves also. If Tucker is happy and feeling well we feel like we are on cloud nine it is such a blessing. I don't have a lot of good pictures from our weekend. Tucker liked to see all the characters from afar so we didn't get pictures with them. And it was so crowded we barely could stop for a second to take a pic without worrying about loosing our toes to another stroller. :P But i will share the pics I did take below. A HUGE thank you to my aunt Linda for getting us into Disney and helping us create such wonderful memories. We spent Sunday at my aunt's and enjoyed catching up with them. Tucker got to play with 2 of his second cousins and they had a blast. It was so nice to spend time with family. Thank you again aunt Linda we love you!

Today is Saturday. Tucker had a chemo treatment yesterday...his last one in FL hooray! They changed up his meds a little bit and his experience this time has been wonderful. As you know last treatment was awful. He was terribly ill for 7 straight days. This time thanks to all of your extra prayers Tucker is doing wonderful. He did not get sick during his treatment at all which was huge because last time he got sick several times before his drip was even over. He has eaten pretty good last night and today and his energy is no less than during the week. Last time he was a limp noodle for several days before we even had strength to sit up. So as you can tell it is an extremely different experience this time. Praise God!! What a wonderful blessing for our last chemo weekend in Florida. We are just taking each treatment as it comes and we know that every treatment may not be like this one from here on out, which we are prepared for, but we will definitely celebrate when it goes smoothly and praise God through the good and the bad. No matter how bad some situations seem, someone is always going through something worse. We have so much to be grateful for.

This week HOME seemed to pull at my heart strings a little more than it has prior. (Hence the carolina song playing with the disney pics..i know it doesnt really match but i love the song and its my blog so i can do what i want right? ;) I miss the beginning of fall in Greer. The pumpkin and pansy stands on the side of the highways, the vibrant leaves dancing on our trees around our house, the crisp morning temperature that perks you up when you step outside. I even miss seeing all the over the top fall and halloween decorations that adorn the neighborhoods. If we were home we probably would have gone apple picking by now and I would have gotten so excited to buy my first jug of apple cider of the season. The only way you would know it is fall here are the signs at Starbucks tempting me to buy a Pumpkin Spice Latte. Which I indulged in one morning and it was sooo yummy...but then it made me miss all my friends at home who also love pumpkin spice lattes and Greer in the fall! So needless to say yes I am missing home but I am keeping my eye on the prize and I know that it won't be long and I will be home. And we will be just in time to take Tucker on a hayride and pick out a nice fat pumpkin and finally welcome fall in Greer for ourselves! :) I can't wait.

Isaiah 55:12 - "You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands."

Disney on PhotoPeach

Messy Weekend

Well there is no way to sugar coat it...Tucker responded awful to chemo Friday afternoon. Before the first bag of medicine even finished he was vomiting. Vomited several times thereafter until he had nothing left to come up, but he continued to dry heave so they gave him a cocktail of benedryl and steroids to calm his little system. It worked and helped him nap but the sickness continued friday night saturday, sunday and today. Lots of middle of the night bed and pj changes and days of keeping a bucket close by. He did not play very much he was too weak. He just laid on me like a limp noodle. As I am typing he is sleeping and I am hoping he wakes feeling stronger and able to eat dinner. They gave him extra fluids today at the Proton center to help make up what he had lost these past few days. Tucker is a tough boy, he does not complain and he hardly ever crys...but he has had enough. Today I had to wake him up exhausted to tell him it was time to go to the dr. and he immediately cried and did not want his "dingle dangle" back on, did not want to be messed with, and I do not blame him.

Chemo days are a hard dose of reality. We have become very numb to the radiation process. We had to become numb to it in order to endure it everyday. Everyone at the proton center helps it be a pretty "enjoyable" experience. We talk with other families Tucker plays before and after he gets his sticker we all leave happy that we made it another day down and go on with our day. There is nothing "enjoyable" about chemo and its effects remind you...your child has cancer. Your child is sick. It is not an experience you can become numb to. I am however going to see if maybe they can switch his nausea meds to possibly get a little better of an outcome for next treatment. Everyone knows chemo is awful, we expected that Tucker would get sick from it. It just is hard to see. The only thing keeping me from taking him and running far far away is knowing that the very thing that is making him so terribly sick is also the thing that is hopefully saving his life. Knowing God has his little hand while I hold the other helps too.

****please notice he still has a smirk after his lousy afternoon of treatment...our little superman*******


This is the probably the first post that is not too uplifting and spiritual. I have to "keep it real." Cancer is not butterflies and puppies. It doesn't give you warm feelings. I get those from God. God understands I have days that are not so positive and he doesn't expect me to act like everything is ok all the time. Hopefully everyone can respect my honesty. This weekend was awful but in time Tucker will be back to his bubbly self and that will carry us to his next treatment.

God had foresight to Tucker's trials. My parents were originally supposed to come last weekend. That didn't work out but it was best they were here during our rough weekend. They were able to give us a little break Sunday night to enjoy a dinner date while Tucker stayed at their hotel. It was much needed and appreciated and came at a perfect time. It was also wonderful to see my parents after 3 long weeks. All of us drove to St. Augustine Sunday afternoon. We got rained out of going to the beach but we ate lunch and strolled Tucker around an alligator farm. He was too weak to really get into it like he normally would have but he enjoyed getting fresh air and seeing the gators.

Our family is super excited about taking Tucker to meet Mickey this weekend at Disney World. After proton on Friday we are heading to Orlando to enjoy some FUN. Can't wait!!

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Romans 8:28 (NIV)

3 down 3 to go

I can't believe we are half way through our treatment plan in Florida. The time is really passing quickly. Most of you know that Tucker's spinal tap came back showing cancer cells had not spread to his spinal fluid. That good news will carry us through the rest of the trip, it gave us a little pep in our step again that we so desperately needed. We give God all the glory for that good news and our ability to endure the past 3 weeks of treatment.

Tucker will get his second dose of chemo tomorrow. His radiation has not caused any major changes at this point. His skin is starting to darken in that area just a tad. He has settled in our routine and is finally taking a nap during the day again. The first 2 weeks he would not nap because everything is so different but his body needs as much rest as possible so we are so happy to see him nap again.

Last post I asked you to pray for the other children in proton with Tucker so I wanted to update you on them. The children getting treatment with Tucker now are Cruise, Jessica and another little boy that just started yesterday and I haven't met him yet. There are only 4 right now but I am almost certain more will start next week. The other children finished their treatment plan. Joseph however went home just 2 weeks into treatment due to an MRI showing that his tumor had taken over more of his brain than they felt could be fixed. They took him home to make memories. Our hearts broke for their family we continue to pray for them as they experience a parent's worst nightmare.

We have really enjoyed getting to know Jessica's parents. Jessica is 18 months old. They are our age and from the UK. We went out to eat with them tonight and it was so nice to feel "normal" for a few hours. They are a sweet sweet family.

My parents and brother are coming down Saturday. We are excited to see them. Tucker will be thrilled to see grandmee and grandpee again. We hope to go to St. Augustine Beach if Tucker feels up to it on Sunday. They have to leave Monday but at least we know we only have a few more weeks till we are HOME.

THANK YOU to everyone that have showered us with cards. We are like little kids opening presents on Christmas morning when we receive our mail. It is the highlight of our day and we truly appreciate the time people take out of their lives to make us feel special. The lady at the front desk even commented one day about how much mail we get. She said " I am amazed everyday by how much mail you get. You get more mail than anyone in this house. I tend to double check and make sure your pile is all yours." :) That just shows what loving, compassionate, generous, kind-hearted people God has blessed us with and we will be forever grateful.

Thank you for continuing to pray for Tucker's complete healing. I will update as the next weeks pass. Tucker is doing amazingly well for what his little body is going through. Most days you honestly would not even know he was sick to look at him but all the doctors around him kinda give it away. :)

"who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls" 1 Peter 1:5-9

sea world

seaworld on PhotoPeach

small victories

It is a long weekend (whoohoo!) and we are excited to celebrate surviving our first week of "our new normal." Tucker has done wonderful with his radiation...he knows the routine, has fun waving at his friends in beds next to him and enjoys putting his sticker on his chart after he is awake and ready to go home. There are 6 children getting proton there right now including Tucker. Please remember these children in your prayers as they are all battling cancer (mostly brain tumors) they are so precious it is devastating that so many babies are going through this. Their names are: Mercel, Joseph, Cruise, Luke and Gabriel.

Another reason to celebrate is that Tucker received his first round of chemo today and sat through it like a champ for 3 hours. We cuddled and watched movies. He did get sick tonight with diarrhea and vomiting but after taking his prescription for nausea he held down pretzels and sprite and played pretty normally. Hopefully tomorrow will be a good day for him. While we sat and waited for his drip to finish Tucker made his "Beads of Courage" necklace. Every patient starts with their name and then as they proceed with treatment they get a special bead for different procedures they have to endure. He will continually add beads until that beautiful day when he is in remission and he will end his necklace with a purple heart. Tucker's necklace is already pretty adorned with beads in just a month's time of procedures. It is a visual reminder of how much he has gone through and how courageous he indeed has been.

Our social worker has been working really hard to help us create ways to keep Tucker's spirits up. This week we enjoyed Jacksonville Zoo and Sunday we plan to take him to Sea World. He is so excited. Proton patients are free to visit the zoo as many times as they wish so I am sure it will be a weekly visit he is already asking to go back. Sea world offers deep discounts for families receiving medical treatment and we are so grateful that we have the opportunity to go and have a fun family day.

Next Thursday morning Tucker will be having a spinal tap before his radiation. This is to ensure that cancer cells have not spread to other parts of his spinal cord. Please help us pray that this is not the case. We pray that he has another week of successful radiation and that he continues to adjust well to his new normal. We pray for our safe travels around the city (jacksonville traffic = scary!)and peace within our hearts and minds that only God can give.

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him." Psalm 28:7

Gina and Kendra Tucker's recovery room nurses at the Proton Center

1st Chemo treatment

All smiles with a sucker and book when he was done!

zoo

jacksonville zoo on PhotoPeach



I apologize in advance for all the head tilting you have to do...I am too tired to rotate them all ! :)

First Day of Healing!

We arrived in Jacksonville safely yesterday afternoon.  It is so nice to all be together as a family. Our original plan was for Tucker and I to come down however after learning Tucker's tumor is indeed returning rapidly we are leaving our finances up to God and are staying together as a family. We are staying at the Ronald McDonald House.  We do not have TV ha! :) BUT they have a nice play area for Tucker and a play set outside. They also have 2 fish tanks and a children's library. We are hoping Tucker will make some friends to play with.

Saturday was an AMAZING day. The "Taking Time for Tucker" benefit was a huge success and a lot of fun. It moved us to tears to see the community come together to support our family.  We appreciate everyone who came out, donated and worked so hard to make the event happen.  It is such a peaceful feeling to know we can concentrate fully on Tucker's healing due to the generosity of others. We will be forever grateful.  Our family is blessed beyond measure to have so many people who truly care about what we are going through.  We do not take it for granted.

Today was Tucker's first day of radiation treatment.  Before his treatment we discussed the radiologist's plan.  We looked at images and he explained what the next 6 weeks would entail.  Basically, they are being as aggressive as they feel his spinal cord can handle.  Even though paralysis is still a big concern it is inevitable without treatment.  We are praying that his spinal cord will be able to handle the treatments without permanent damage.  For most of his treatment it will be a wides spread area of the tumor site and area around it hoping to kill all microscopic cancer cells.  For the last 2 days they will be putting all of the radiation in the specific area of the tumor "giving it 2 extra punches." His radiologist feels we have a great plan in place to give him the best chance especially since we are combining it with chemo.  We have his first oncology appointment on Thursday afternoon.  Tucker did well with his treatment today and we are back at "home" playing. He only whimpered while he got accessed from being scared but the needle itself did not hurt because they numbed him with cream really good first. He did really good. He played with the proton center's Ipad while they wheeled him back and before he knew it he was fast asleep.  We will do this everyday so I'm sure after a few days it becomes routine and will get easier in time. 

Thank you for your continued prayers! We met a family today at the Proton Center from the UK. Florida seems far away from home but we are so grateful that we are not having to travel to another country.  So thankful for our many blessings.

"Let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us, and run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus the source and perfecter of our faith."    Hebrews 12: 1-2

got proton?

We arrived in Jacksonville last night around 11:30.  We made it in 6 hours, not bad at all.  From 10-3:30 today we were at the Proton Center.  Our appointment started with insurance information. My chin hit the floor when she handed me a detailed bill for his proton therapy.  Just for the radiation (not chemo, not anesthesia, not supplies JUST the radiation) the total bill was $121, 000.  Thank God for insurance!! Our out of pocket expense will be minimal compared to that. What a blessing. Our next stop was meeting his radiologist. He went over the risks of  radiating the spinal cord and benefits of proton radiation.

Possible Long Term Side Effects: Nerve damage to the spinal cord (which would cause numbness, paralysis, pain etc in his trunk or legs.)  damage to his growth platelets ( this is most definitely going to happen with tucker...he will be a few inches shorter than he normally would have grown) 2nd type of cancer from the radiation such as skin cancer or another tumor in the area they radiated made up of a different kind of tissue, bowel or bladder trouble or erectile dysfunction.  Most of these he says the risk of having these effects is about 15% and they show up years after treatment.  He said Tucker will probably never grow back hair in the area they radiate and the skin they radiate will probably look different in color than the rest of his back, those are cosmetic and are not worrisome to us.

Benefits of Proton Radiation: The beam is more accurate in treating only the needed area and does not exit the body harming organs as it exits. It hits the tumor area and stops which is crucial for Tucker because of where his tumor is. This will save his kidneys, the lower half of his lungs, liver and intestines from getting significant damage.  The radiologist feels that if Tucker sees long term side effects it will be from spine and spinal cord injury due to where they are having to radiate. So although the risks are scary they out-way not radiating which would mean the tumor returning and taking Tucker's life.  Since radiating is not an option proton radiation is the best choice for him.

Before they took Tucker back from his CT Scan I asked the radiologist how successful he felt we were gonna be with keeping this tumor from returning. He said that if it were a grade 4 and the surgeon hadn't been able to remove the entire tumor he would say it is unlikely that treatment would be successful.  He said since Tucker's is grade 3 and the Dr. Troup got all of the tumor he feels the success rate will be about 50/50.  We were really wanting to hear a higher number.  That was hard to hear.  However he said that if this treatment is successful he felt that Tucker would lead a pretty normal long life.  Even though we were disheartened by numbers today we know that God can beat all odds and statistics do not mean anything to Him. We find comfort in that.

He got some INK today!! They had to tattoo little dots on him to use during his treatment for accuracy. They are small and really unnoticeable.  They did it while he was asleep for his ct scan. The scan went well. After we had the long talk with the radiologist about how great it was that we were starting treatment with no tumor just cancer cells we were shocked with he came to us in the waiting room and said Tucker's newest MRI results came in and he was concerned.  The person who read the MRI wrote "possible tumor regrowth is visible."  The radiologist said that if he indeed already has tumor regrowth that would significantly lower is success rate.  This hit us like a ton of bricks. However, the spot could be scar tissue or a sac of fluid so we have to wait to see what his team thinks in Greenville.  Dr. Troup his neurosurgeon and his oncologist will review the images along with the radiologist in Jacksonville and give us their opinions.  It will not change the course of treatment if they feel the tumor is indeed already returning it just puts his chance of success with this treatment in a more concerning state.  The radiologist said it definitely is not what we wanted to hear, however we are trying to remain positive that it is indeed just fluid or scar tissue.  He did have a spot before his surgery above his tumor and the surgeon said it was fluid caused by the tumor so we will see what he thinks now.

After he woke up from anesthesia we grabbed some lunch and rested in our hotel for a bit.  Tonight we took Tucker for a ferry ride along the St. John's River and he loved the water. Our hotel is on the river and an easy walk.  Tyler grew  up here and is a huge Jaguars fan so it was neat to see the stadium and everyone in their Jaguar attire for the first home pre-season game tonight.  The players and coaches stayed in our hotel last night so we saw a few of them walking around this afternoon.  We are watching the game on TV as I type as a matter of fact. :)

Things to Pray about: That Tucker's treatment WILL be successful and that his long term effects will be minimal.

Things to feel good about:  Tucker has a great team of doctors that are making decisions based on his best interest.  Our social worker in FL is working hard to pull things together for us when we return so that Tucker will have fun weekends going fun places.  A HUGE hooray for good health insurance!!

Tucker is loving life and is so brave. We wish we could take this from him more than anything in this world. But, since we can't... we pray, try to focus on the positive, we lean on good friends and family and we continue to look to God for all of our decisions and comforting our fears and doubts.  He is capable of doing more than we can ever dream or imagine!!

Haircut

Tucker got his hair cut today. It might be his last one for awhile so we made a big deal about it. Not all children loose their hair during treatment but it is more likely than not.  Tucker loves his new cut and we do too!

Initial Jacksonville Visit

We finally have a date to go down to Jacksonville for Tucker's initial appointment.  He was approved by the Proton Center AND our insurance company so we have a green light to proceed. YAY.  We will be traveling next Thursday night because his appointments start early Friday morning.  We will meet his radiologist and nurse that will be working with Tucker when we come back for his treatment.  They will also be doing an MRI and CT Scan to help plan his radiation.  They will put him to sleep for both of these procedures through his port so at least no IVs this time.  This appointment is just to prepare for his treatment and get the measurements and information they need to give him the best personalized care possible.  We will return on Sunday and work until they call us to come back down for the 6 weeks.  They anticipate there being about a 2 week time frame in between when we go down next weekend and them being ready for us to come stay for the long haul.  We are so thankful this process if finally moving forward.

Life Ain't Always Beautiful, But its a Beautiful Ride

I have always loved that song by Gary Allen. It has never really struck such a personal chord with me like it does now. There is nothing beautiful about cancer. There is nothing beautiful about hearing the words that your own child has cancer. The paralyzing fear, the uneasiness of not knowing what the future holds and the ache in your heart because you want nothing to disrupt their happy carefree childhood...none of these are beautiful.  However, all those feelings are masked when I hear Tucker's little feet running to give me a hug with a smile that lights up any room. The past 2 years have been the best of our life and not because everything is perfect. The past 2 years have been beautiful because we are blessed with all the great things that come with parenthood, being a family and instantly learning to love till your heart aches.  Over the past few weeks we have had our lives turned upside down. But in all that mess here is what we have learned: Our friends and family will do ANYTHING for us and they have proven it. God will not leave us nor forsake us and he has proven that by all of the miracles he has already given us in Tucker's recovery from surgery and providing for our family financially. We have learned we are stronger than we ever thought possible. We have learned that our son is touching the lives of many people from miles around through his courage and sweet spirit...now that is BEAUTIFUL. Everyday we are praying for Tucker's complete healing that we know God can provide, but in the meantime we are ready for the bittersweet, beautiful ride.